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The Mask I Wore

December 2, 2017

Masks are real, and they come in all shapes and sizes, and they are as unique as the wearer. How do I know? Well, I’ve worn masks. No one has ever known this part of my story. Truthfully, I’ve been terrified of losing the ground I’ve gained by becoming vulnerable, but that is precisely what God calls us to do - to expose our humanity as we become like him.
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Growing up I was bullied, I was alone even when people surrounded me; I was an outcast. There were many days where it was easier to complain about a stomach bug than it was to go to a school where I was an island. Things, you would think would get better with age, but that just wasn't the case for me. I was in my twenties when I officially hit rock bottom. I was finished with those all too familiar feelings of isolation and constant fear, but God had other plans of glorious restoration.
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Like Saul, I grew up in church, and I knew about Jesus. I knew scriptures and lived a "holy life," but something happened, and I rebelled. I had gotten so caught up with "doing church" that the relationship with God I claimed to have was non-existent. In one single moment, God began to work and just like that all of my fears and anxieties, all of my feelings of isolation had a head-on collision with Grace and Grace changes everything. The self-loathing and worries all came out, and I was free.
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Like Saul, I had a Damascus Road moment, and I now have a new name. I walk confidently in who God says I am. I love, honor, and respect myself because God does, too. I don't claim to be perfect, but I claim to be the masterpiece of the Creator.
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You are not alone. There is hope, and his name is Jesus. Don't give up on yourself, he hasn't and he never will. 

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